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My yellow and red flags on a possible connection

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1 year ago

This could easily go either way - SD or SB - and be applied absolutely equally.


Disclaimer - My list only, everyone will be different, this is what I look for.  Everyone will be different, maybe it's worth considering your own list.  I wish I had at the start.  Collated from my personal experience over more than three years.


Red or at least strong yellow flags for me in combination are (note not just one, a number):



Being present


- Avoiding eye contact

- Appearing distracted 

- Answering text messages when meeting 

- Avoiding all touch or contact

- Seeming distant for no shared reason



Being happy, healthy and well balanced 


- Learning there is a serious mental or physical illness

- Starting new medications with bad side effects

- Actively seeking cosmetic surgery

- Texting during the middle of the night

- Shooting for a monthly allowance very early (why?)

- Starting and stopping various fad diets



Being independent and adult


- Ask fm account - never a good idea

- Being more interested in what others think - seeking approval

- Have large unspecified debts to pay

- Having hotornot account (see above)

- Having serious unresolved issues with parents

- Multiple Tumblr accounts which are active

- Understanding privacy of both parties



Being honest or following through


- Poor excuses for not doing something

- Saying something will happen and it does not

- Cancelling meetings regularly

- No shows (hate these, lack all style)

- Having multiple unexplained contact or blog names



Being respectful 


- Communicating respectfully, always 

- Asking once for contact and no more, unless strange circumstances

- Writing an introduction before asking for photos (a proper one)

- Using the communication mechanism that works for both

- Being honest on your profile


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I love this ! I should make one relating to SD...