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The Walkout - A Red-Flag Story for SBs

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Early in my relationship with an SB, Katie had a run-in with a scammer in person. This story is about her bad experience.

I met Katie (not her real name) about a week before our first date. As with anyone I meet in this culture, I wanted to develop a sense of comfort before meeting up, so we texted and talked by phone a few times. When we finally did meet, we had a great first date and made plans to see each other again in a few days. But she called me the very next day, her voice trembling and in distress. There was something wrong.

From the beginning, I made it clear that sugar-dating offered no expectations for a full-fledge commitment. Controlling her and demanding that I be her only SD would undermine the very idea of this culture, so I made sure she understood that dating other guys was expected. I just wanted her to be careful - very careful about the men she met online. Her frantic phone call the day after our first date made me realize how easily people can be screwed over.

"Do you have a few minutes?" She said. I can tell she had been crying.

"Of course, I do. Is everything alright?"

"No. Not really."

"What happened? Are you safe?"

"I don't think you'll like what I'm going to tell you, but I need someone to talk to. I just got screwed over on a date. Totally scammed and I really just don't know what to do right now."

If Katie only knew the sh*t I had seen during my time as a SD, she would know that nothing surprises me anymore. I've been embarrassed and humiliated in public by a potential SB. I've been scammed for money, threatened, insulted, and made to feel empty. But on the other hand, I've also had great relationships with awesome SBs, earned their trust, and developed friendships. I was prepared for whatever she had to say.

"Talk to me, Katie. What happened?" I asked.

"I've been talking to another guy on the website. We've been talking for a few days and finally met up today. He offered me some money to sleep with him and then go out to dinner. I thought it was a good deal."

"How much was he offering you?"

"A thousand and four-hundred."

"That's a lot of money from someone you just met and haven't met in person."

"I mean, we video chatted a few times and talked by phone. It sounded and felt legit." At this point I wanted to tell her that an initial coffee meeting would have been a better decision, but lecturing her at that moment wasn't exactly the right thing to do.

"Okay, then what happened?"

"We met at his hotel room." What she couldn't see on the other end of the phone was the disappointing look on my face as I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and shook my head. NEVER MEET AT A HOTEL ROOM. Again, I kept my thoughts to myself and continued listening.

"Did he give you the money?" I asked.

"No, because he said he was afraid I'd take it and run. He said he'd give it to me after dinner. He even showed me the cash he had in his pocket."

"He showed you the money, put it back in his pocket, and told you he'd give it to you later?"


"Keep going. What happened then?"

"Well, we got undressed and did it on the bed."

"Did you use protection?"

"Nope. I honestly just wanted it to be quick. He wasn't even that attractive." She laughed nervously. "When we finished, we got dressed and went to the restaurant."

"And then?"

"About halfway through dinner, he got up to use the bathroom and then never came back. I waited and waited. When I tried to call him, he blocked my number. I cried to the waitress and the manager voided the bill."

And there it was. The turning point of her dating life. Someone had just taken advantage of her, exploited a weakness, and walked out on a bill. What a sorry piece of sh*t.

"Did I just get scammed? I feel so gross. I mean, does this happen a lot?"

"Katie, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. Unfortunately, this does happen and it happens more than you think. Trust me, you're not the only one, and from the sound of it, he's done this to other girls."

My role at this point was to be supportive. We stayed on the phone and talked for a little while longer. For the next few weeks, I made sure to offer her my attention and time, even if that time meant giving her some distance while she allowed herself to get past the experience. It wasn't the ideal way to bond, but we did develop a closer relationship as we learned to trust each other. To this day, we continue to enjoy a wonderful SD/SB relationship.

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hi daddy

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Please tell her I send her all my love and wish her the best <3 I hope she feels better soon:(