Sugar Daddy going away on holiday? Taking some time to travel without you? Bleep, but isn't it obvious, SD's?!
Stay in touch!
Even for the most logical of women, when our man leaves, we worry. We doomsday. We think the worst. And no, quite often our thoughts are not pertaining to "will he cheat on me?", but rather - 'does he still love me?'. No, we're not insecure losers, we're just vulnerable. When a woman starts to feel FEELINGS, we get vulnerable.... and shock-horror, men feel those feelings too!
When a woman feels feelings - to like someone, to want someone, to miss someone... we want to hear from them. We want our SD to be in touch.
Staying in touch is not a sexual thing, by the way SD's. What to do?
- Send us a photo of something you're seeing out of your window/ what you saw today (beach/ city/ pretty flower?)
- Write a short sms saying hello with a smiley
- Respond to our texts
- Plan a time to call
- Make a date to see us when you get back
Yeh, we know you're on holiday, having fun with mates, etc... and we want you to have fun. But just remind us that you care. That's all we need.
When I meet a man in a social setting and that man tells me he lives alone with a cat, then flirts with me heavily, and over the course of a month he flirts more and finally on Feb 12, asks me out... i kinda assume he actually IS single. So I flirt back, consider where to place him while deciding whether i like him enough to date.. .
What I do not expect is on Valentine's Day, to have his number pop up on my phone with 3 missed calls and then on the 4th ring, I answer and hear, "HI, I'M THE WIFE".
(Sorry, "WIFE", you've been outed on sdm- who f*cking calls the other woman when it's your husband who can't keep it in his pants. F*ck!!).
So... the wife called me to ask whether I knew he was married... nope, got me there- he didn't say he was married. Honestly the main reason I don’t pursue married men, or lust after those who are in a relationship is quite frankly because my dad dumped my mum in that way. How can you disrespect a union by f*cking it over? And then there are the women who marry the man who cheated with them... that confuses me also.... in any case WIFE called.
She wanted to let me know she's highly intelligent.
She wanted to let me know they've been together for over 12 years.
She wanted to let me know they have two kids together.
And she wanted to meet me, because "I've heard so much about you".
F*CK THAT, WIFEY.
I'm no homewrecker.
No, i won't meet you.
What I will do is spam list, block, ban and avoid your douchebag husband...
But not before I tell him what a dick he's been...
And I, feeling quite embarrassed trying to understand...
Shock-horror, but I actually have a life, and i run a business....which sometimes means I get absorbed with new landing new clients, and don't check this website. I don't hate you. I haven't stopped liking you. I'm just busy.
No, I will not marry you just after our 3rd date. Seriously wtf.
I went on a date recently (yeh, I have a lot of these stories), and he started acting all into me.... like waaaaay too eager. First date he was a sweetie. Second date he said he was excited that we had a real relationship. Third date he asked me to move in... and the following morning, a bloody marriage proposal.
Yep, I think I'm a pretty good catch, but even this clingy behaviour is too intense for me.
A man can certainly be honest with his feelings, share fears and vulnerabilities (like, for example, my date said that I scare him because I am so beautiful he is scared I will leave him), but speeding things up 100-fold is too much. Now I get that some of your Sugar Daddies are lonely, and you miss having someone beautiful in your life.... but speeding up things is not right.
On the flip-side, just under a year ago I met a incredible SugarDaddy who i totally fell in love with... and I would have married him in a heartbeat had he asked me... I'm all for getting married to the right man, being in love, and having a real relationship... but not on the 3rd date!
I have dated a lot of powerful men in my time, from standard dating sites, and had a couple dates met on this site. I have noticed that there is a weird thread of behavior seen in men who earn over $200,000p.a. Shockingly, it is-- insecurity....
So what is "being insecure"? Here's a list from (my) real life experiences--
If you need to tell me you own a white Lamborghini or that bloody blue Ferrari, you're insecure
If you get defensive when you hear I have more degrees than you, you're insecure
If you cling on to me, or stand so close to me you're like a shadow, you're insecure
If you think that I will leave you for a younger man, you're insecure
If you cannot believe that I actually love you FOR WHO YOU ARE, you're insecure
If you cut me off when I'm telling you about my friend who is 28 and a hedge fund manager, you're insecure
If you don't let me dress sexy or be beautiful in public, without you present, you're insecure
If you need to show me pictures of your million dollar home (before inviting me in), you're insecure
If you tell me all the details about your income streams on the first date, you're insecure
If you keep talking about how others are asking about me, or complimenting you on being with me, you're insecure. Ok, now this may be true... but why tell me? I am not your f*cking show pony. Don't be so insecure about me... omg.
Basically, a man who is really honestly secure in his financial and emotional space will not talk about his money, his things, etc, because that lacks class... and if you feel comfortable where you are, you don't need to impress anyone.... you're just wealthy and that's the way it is. If you are secure in yourself, you are not threatened by your girl's qualifications, education, experience, or background. To be secure in yourself is about being okay with not being number 1 in everything - recognizing that YOU ARE ENOUGH. If you are secure in yourself, you can be with your girl and know that even giving her personal space is something very loving and healthy. If you're emotionally secure, you believe your girl when she tells you her real feelings... if she loves you, she loves you. To say that one day a younger man will take her away from you is insecure thinking. Don't break her heart and say she'll just leave you...
Do you understand now?
Be a secure and sexy SugarDaddy.
Be a secure and sexy man.
That's what we really want.
Conquer that insecurity, and be the man women need and want!
What are the worst first date locations? OMG Sugar Daddies, do you guys need to learn how to date with class? Read on to find out!
I was out on a first date yesterday and he took me to a pub. Now let me say this- the area of town was high class (but we were in a pub)... the pub outdoor area was nice (if we ignored all the rowdy 20 year olds) and my gin&tonic was quite good. But the food.... the clientele.. the noise.... the service.... oh my gawd. I don't know what he was thinking.
Then he shared this little gem, "I don't think it should matter where you are; it's about the connection". Awww, how cute. Has he been watching too many chick flix?
Newsflash --- IT DOES MATTER WHERE YOU ARE... ESPECIALLY ON THE FIRST DATE
Why choosing a nice location for your first meetup matters
If you want to facilitate positive conversation, bring out the best in a person, and show interest, you need to have chosen a nice place to meet. I know some sugar babies want to be impressed, but it's not really about impressing someone when you choose a beautiful location.... another way to think of it is this- if you chose an average place, and the company was average, your whole experience would suck.... but if you chose a place you love and the company was averge, you could still enjoy yourself. Like when you have a key first meeting with a business client, you will choose a classy place to chat, or you'll use your offices. If the business client is not quite ideal, the experience will still have had plaesant moments. Hey, we're not asking for much, but show us a little respect and kindness when you choose the place.
Top 5 worst places to go on a first date
Before you leap into "wtf", I have experienced all these bad dates both with SDs and standard dates. Yikes, men, what were you thinking?
* Pub - too casual, noisy, not classy
* Hotel bar - seedy, way too sexual
* Wedding afterparty - too familiar too quick
* Family event - waaaaay too familiar
* Hotel room - I'm not a sex worker... don't treat me like one
I'm tempted to add the humble "café" to the list as well, but there are some really great cafés. If you're going the way of a café, check its rating on Urbanspoon/ Zomato. You want a place that's at least a 4star rating.
What ARE good locations then?
The best place is somewhere you (Sugar Daddy) know and like. Choose a lunch or dinner spot. Don't be a tight arse- it shouldn't be a place you squeeze on the cheap. Do you know the chef or owner? Does the place serve your favorite wine? Do you love the view? Choose somewhere that captivates you. If you're not a classy person, use food apps and review sites to locate a nice upmarket joint. The feeling you are going for here is to enable comfort and conversation in lovely surrounds.
It is simple broken-windows theory:: when people are in a nice, well-maintained, beautiful environment, their behavior matches it. Of coursebe on the look out for your own red flags/ warning signs, but also consider that a nasty or trashy place may make your sugarbaby feel uncomfortable....
That pub date made me feel uncomfortable. I felt overdressed and i felt like a snob for not fitting in. I tried to make the best of it, but i still felt out of place... i don't like feeling that way.... especially not on a first date. What happened to him? Well, i feel like he blew it. No, it wasn't just the location, but i thought, 'if this is his best foot forward, what kind of person is he?' And i didn't like this answer....
It seems a common behaviour of men on this site (and other SD and dating sites) is the "flakey" behaviour. Flakiness basically means you are "undependable" or "unreliable".
Can you be relied upon? Are you a flake?
- If you say you'll come to a party and then forget to show up, you are flaky.
- If you say you'll call and then don't call, you are flaky.
- If you cancel plans and then don't reschedule, you are flaky.
- If you make a time to be somewhere, and you are always late, you are flaky.
FYI for Sugar Daddy Flakes:
When you don't show up/ don't call/ don't reschedule, it demostrates a lack of respect. What upsets and angers women in this behaviour is not specifically that you didn't do that promised action, but that you a) didn't follow through by actually doing it... b) that you didn't try to make it right as soon as possible. To a woman this feels hurtful, because we think if you respected our time and company, you would have been reliable, or at least notified us of changes and made new plans.
Yes, I know, some people have social anxiety and flake on social events because of panic and fear! But at least show a little maturity to follow-up. Flakiness is not reserved to not showing up... but also the lack of interest in following-up, letting people know what's happening, not making new plans.. etc.
Think of this whole scenario as a business meeting.... Do you leave a key business partner hanging? No! Because then you might lose a deal. Same with women! Don't leave us hanging....!!
DON'T BE A FLAKE
Been flakey in the past? Want to learn how to make it right?
Be genuine about this. Does it matter to you to be a man of integrity? Does it matter to you to be considered reliable and dependable? Do you aim to be a man of action? Do you desire to be a REAL MAN?
1. Call them. Yes, on the phone. A phone call is way more personal than a text message. If she is not picking up, send a quick text with a message something along the lines of, "Hi [name], I would really like to make a time to chat. When might you be free next?". Wait for their reply. If you don't hear back, consider it a big learning curve. You flaked on them, and that hurts people. Being flakey hurts relationships.
2. The first and most important thing you need to do when speaking to them is APOLOGIZE to her! Don't go into the excuses. It's not about justifications here. Admit your stupidity for being a flake, and now let's fix this mess...
3. Now, you want to correct the behaviour and change the tone of the connection. You have been a flake, and they might still be really angry with you. You need accept that if you flaked on someone and didn't follow-up, they may feel hurt and disrespected. Fixing this takes time, but you can fix it. I strong advise you to reschedule your date right then and there, on the phone with her. Make a time to catch up next, and tell them what you're hoping to acheive/ the purpose of that meetup. Now is not the time to be cheeky or sexual by the way. You're not out of the woods yet.
4. Finish the call after making the rescheduled date. Between now and that rescheduled date, stay in touch with your girl.
5. On the day of the new (rescheduled) date, text her to let her know it's still happening. Arrive early, be yourself. If you have been seeing (and having sex with) this girl at least 3 weeks, you better bring her flowers. Now is the time for flowers, men! (note: flowers are not always advised- but for fixing a flakey sitatuion when the girl feels connected to you (as she will after 3 weeks of sex), flowers may help soothe her).
6. Relax. You know, it's basically good now. Honestly, we women are pretty easy-going when it comes to fixing things... because that's what women do. We FIX. We nurture, and we fix. All we want is a little respect. When you called and apologized, we felt respected. When you rescheduled, we felt respected. When you turned up, we felt respected. Do you see the theme? It's the right thing to do- to respect us.
So.... I actually have found that I get along better (dating-wise) with men who are top-dogs in their field. I am *over* trying to find a man I click with at random entrepreneurial events! Yes, I am bright and beautiful. I am in a position that is quite freeing. I am an artist. I also do research with entrepreneurs to build better business.
Am I the sterotypical SB? Not really a girl who *needs* support. If you want to buy me a new handbag, I'm down with that. Pay my rent - cool... But seriously, though- I am on SDM and open to falling in love- I wouldn't discount that. Anyway, as I said, this my NB.
The Quality of a Sugar Daddy - Honestly, it's in their output. I'm not talking buying you things... but in his behaviour. First date is the key. Yep coffees are great, and indeed i suggest that as a first date place *but i am not a Daddy. Of course i think small*.
The quality of the Sugar Daddy and the quality of the relationship they wish to have with you is almost a complete mirror of their first date choice of location, food, conversation and behaviour.
You don't really need to be a behaviour specialist to read men..
You just need to be on the look out for suspicious behaviour.
* LOCATION -- A basic coffee shop? Look at the other clientele. Average coffee- Do they have a good barista? Look at the food on offer. Made on premises.. or does it look =cheap=? A silver service lunch spot? Is it terribly pretencious or do you feel your SD goes to places like this a lot? Business ppl as clientele? What's the menu like? Dinner spot - does he know the waiters or the chef? This will hep you know if he is comfy here, and a regular frequenter of such places.
* CONVERSATION -- Notice the topics covered. Fears highlighted? Are these part n parcel of the arrangement (i.e. insecurity due to lack of approval at home... or general uncomfortableness?). Can you both talk about the interior design, food, wine? Good conversation about his interests as well? Nice. Does the Daddy understand what a sugar relationship actually is? Does he talk about your finances?
* INTOLERANCE -- If there's one thing I am intolerant about - well, it's intolerance. LOL. Seriously, though... I have limits. There are things that matter to me... that I will not let slide. For me I draw the line at disrespect around race and GBLT communities... but for you it might be religion or fetishes - whatever. We all have limits, and respecting ourselves is the best boundary we can put forward - don't let a Potential Daddy be a prick about something that matters to you. F*ck him off now.
* STROKING HIS EGO -- Omg, is he all about showing off? Watch this one. Discussions mostly about how rich, powerful and confident he is? He owns 6 cars and a blue Ferrari? He owns a private jet? Probably some narsasistic vibes here. Watch him. Ok, so Daddy is possibly is "A BIG DADDY" which is a dream catch... but can you deal with his arrogance?
* USE OF SUBSTANCES -- Offers you drugs? Lavishes you with alcohol? Hmm. *time to worry*.... your safety comes first. This isn't a "quality" daddy. This is a guy who wants to take advantage of you.
Watch his texting (phone) behaviour. Long time to respond after asking you a pertinent question? That's messed up. They want another picture "a recent one" - bullshit. They're always busy - blow 'em off. Much like the Disappearing Daddy post, you can also get "The Flakey F*cker*. Avoid him!!
SUGAR IS QUALITY NOT QUANTITY
SUGAR IS SPECIAL
YOU ARE SPECIAL
HE NEEDS TO PUT HIS BEST FOOT FORWARD TOO....
If he isn't nice now, he probably won't improve. Sugarbabies (that are genuine and respectful) deserve kind, generous and respectful Daddies. Much like dating -- Don't you dare settle for less.
Sugar babies put up with a lot (being your dream girlfriend and all), but there are a few things we never mention to you but secretly wish you'd sort out, so we can stay as into you as you are into us. Here are some tips and tricks for Sugar Daddies. If you did all of these, it'd be awesome. It's up to you, boys! OK, firstly I will look at behavioural points, then grooming pointers.
BEHAVIOURAL POINTERS FOR SUGAR DADDIES:
* LISTEN TO YOUR SUGAR BABY
All women (but particularly sugar babies) will talk about what they like and what they want. During the course of a date, sugar babies may mention they adore the colour red or tell you that they have always wanted to try surfing... and this is part of a conversation. Although these are said in passing, a good sugar daddy will hear these things and take note, so in the action of gift-giving, he can surprise his sugar baby with EXACTLY what she has always wanted.
* BE AWARE WE HAVE PERIODS ONCE A MONTH!
So if one day comes along and we mysteriously don't want sex or touching, please don't push the topic. And if you do find out, don't tease us or say we're disgusting. What we need at menstruation is a nice hug, a good massage, and sensitivity.
* DON'T THINK YOUR SUGAR BABY IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT YOU.
When your sugar baby says things like, "I've always wanted to marry a rich man", or "In the future, I never want to work", she's not actually talking about you marrying her. Don't freak out, or think she's gold-digging you... she's just sharing. Because you are her SD, she will vent and share and tell you things liek a confidant. Let her. Don't judge her... and for goodness sake, don't think she's trapping you into marrying her!!
* RELEASE YOUR GRIP ON YOUR SUGAR BABY
When walking together, don't latch on to your sugar baby like she's a crazy child about to dash off across the street and get hit by a car. Walk with a relaxed nature, arm in arm, or comfortably holding hands... or just walk next to each other with an air of caring.
* AVOID INTENSE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
You're not both 17 anymore, so act with a bit of respect to others in the public sphere. Of course, you can go intense and wild in the bedroom, but out and about (and ESPECIALLY in front of her house, or in her neighbourhood), exercise restraint!!
* CHIVALRY ISN'T DEAD
Opening doors for your Sugarbaby, offering her your coat when she's clearly cold, etc - don't let these positive gentlemanly traits die. We women appreciate this behaviour. When it comes from a true desire to cherish and protect the woman (i.e. not a power thing), women adore it. SD's need to remember that we are special, and chivalry is part of that.
GROOMING POINTERS FOR SUGAR DADDIES:
1. TRIM YOUR NOSE AND EAR HAIR
That wild bush of hair streaming from your nose and ears is really *not* appealing. Buying nose-hair trimmers is as discrete as heading to the local Target or Walmart and they barely cost $20. In case you're worried about how it works- they are like shavers, so no crazy plucking actions and they hum quietly while you get the job done.
2. TRIM YOUR BALLS HAIR
Notice a theme here, boys? Your package n balls fluff does not need to be completely shaven off (I hear it grows back quite itchy for men!), but do trim it a little. A mouth full of hair when venturing down that way is never enjoyable....
3. HAVE NICE BREATH
Kissing you is great, but when you have stinky breath - it really isn't sexy. This should be a no-brainer guys --yet *many* SD's have bad breath. Have you eaten breakfast? Have you brushed your teeth? Have you flossed? Seriously! If that doesn't solve it, go to your local doctor, because it might be a mouth infection, decaying tooth issue, or something more sinister.
4. REDUCE ACNE
A pus-filled pimple is not sexy, and though we never mention it to you - we hate em. Don't squeeze them or ask us to squeeze it (eww?), but go to a dermatologist, beauty therapist, or get some good intensive acne-clearing washes.
5. AVOID RAZOR BURN AND DRY SKIN
Kissing you with a red bumpy razor-burn rash or dry scratchy skin is not nice. Shave slowly, and with care, and moisturise. Also use lip balm, boys. Scratchy lips isn't fun!!
6. MANAGE BODY ODOUR
Under the arms *and* between your legs - essential cleaning and freshening required.
7. CLEAN YOUR BODY WELL
Further to bad body odour is when you haven't cleaned your package n balls, or your bum. Need I elaborate? Yuck!
8. GO EASY ON THE COLOGNE
So, we sugarbabies aren't a fan of your stinky body, but please don't drown yourself in perfumes/ cologne.
9. TAME THE BEARD AND EYEBROWS
Even if you're not a beard-man, check your eyebrows. Are they crazy and bushy? No, we don't need you to trim like a beauty-queen, but do trim your beard to a No1 or No2 on the shaver, and consider trimming the edges a little.
10. MANAGE DANDRUFF
Snow is great in winter, but not all over us when we hug you. Many SD's seem to get dandruff... and getting rid of it is truly as easy as using some anti-dandruff shampoo.
11. NICE HANDS GO A LONG WAY
Particuarly with older SD's, your hands and nails will start to look crunchy, yellowish or brittle. All you need is a little good-quality hand cream to keep your nails and hands soft. Trimming your nails is also an easy task.
12. REDUCE SMELLY FEET
Scared to take off your shoes? Or perhaps you're missing out on foot massages or toe sucking? Hey, could be your toxic feet! Easy remedy - talcum powder your feet after showering, always have an extra pair of clean socks, consider spraying your shoes of a night.
13. KEEP 'EM PEARLY WHITES
Yellowing teeth can be your down fall SD's. A little whitening toothpaste goes a long way. Don't like the thought of that, baking soda works too (but it tastes horrid).
Alright boys, that's the list. You don't have to do these all, but they are things your sugar baby will notice (and not tell you about). We don't want to shame you or embarass you, but we like a well-groomed, well-behaved man.... yes as you want us to be pretty, sexy, fun, and engaging.
The primary role of a sugar baby is to be the fantasy dream girlfriend type for our Sugar Daddy, to listen to his opinions and allow him to express himself. In return Daddy supports and pampers us.
But what happens when your Daddy is acting like a massive dick! Yes, we are the dream girl but we are not a punching bag or doormat.
When your Daddy is being a dickhead, you totally need to tell him. Perhaps don't say exactly that... but i am pretty sure if you are that direct he will certainly stop ;)
Definitely tell him when he's crossed the line... because we deserve to be treated well. Here are some times that constitute "dick-moves" - tell him off!!!--
> If he is demeaning your passions, work or positive life choices *why is he with you then?*
> If he talks about his other sugarbabies to you *disrespectful much?*
> If he chats up other women when out with you *wtf*
> If he is demanding intimacy (based on arrangement pre-discussions of course) *pushy is never sexy*
> If he becomes offensive in terms of opinions (like racism, etc) *!!!*
> If he keeps interrupting you when you're trying to share (this goes both ways btw) *still, a point though- not cool*
Try to be soft in your comments to highlight his fault. Unfortunately telling a Daddy (or anyone) that they are being a dick tends to result in severance of a relationship (unless you're good friends who are emotionally aware!).
Still, i think a good Daddy- a man who understands and cares about you will let even your occasional stroppiness slide... and yes, he'll stop being a dick so you can get back into the fantasy vibe.
So many bad profiles and awful updates! Don't be one of the dodgy profiles on this site! Design an AWESOME profile and shine out your lovin'!
Here are some recent examples of BAD updates:
Pornf*** updated his 'About my match / friend' section
Look 4 sum1 who cn fock my brains owt who luv sex as mch as i do she mst be a sexfreak nomophomainac
(Sugar Daddy, really? I would be surprised that ANYONE will get in touch when you can't even spell... how UNsexy. Sugar Daddies, please never write this crap. We'd rather hear about your life and what you enjoy doing with your life! P.S> this isn't a porno-match site)
Cat*** updated her 'Title' section
Not a hooker & don't want to know u have to pay for it
(Sugar baby love, if you're not a hooker, you won't need to say that. Instead you'll emit a different vibe, be honest.. or hell- give them your LinkedIn profile to check you out. Yep, some guys are dicks. Some guys on this site expect you'll do anything for money, so report them and block 'em. Tell 'em where to shove it. And try editing your profile to eliminate any opportunity for misconstrued moments)
carme*** updated her 'About my match / friend' section
Just appreciate me!!!! Know that I'm one in a life time!!! Make me feel like a queen !##
(Not just picking on her, but many Sugarbabies write this... and simply, it's not necessary. Sugar Daddies KNOW we all expected to be treated well and appreciated. What this update does is show -desperation- and -insecurities- ...of course we all feel like that sometimes, but a Sugar Daddy wants to see you SHINE. He expects your best side, and to give him that, we must be our confident happy selves. Yep, treat me right... but why not share WHY he should choose you? Are you a student? What makes you tick? What inspires you? What are you saving for? Why are you here?)
Sas*** updated her status
A great donation = an even better time
(You may not be a hooker, but sure as hell sound like one! So you need money, yeah? We get it honey... but this also shows desperation and -honestly- you're worth more than this. Why not write something like, " Now accepting cash, cards and cuddles ;) " - see it's funny, witty, uses aliteration... and therefore gets a better point across)
Also, while I am on the topic.... SELFIES ARE EVIL
Uh huh, I know we are in the digital age of the selfie, but everyone knows selfies make even the most average person look awesome. So please SB's, add some other piccys too! Show the Sugar Daddies what you're really like!
So, you know that Daddy you've been seeing, or talking to... and suddenly he vanishes? Doesn't answer texts, calls, emails... It's like he's completely disappeared? No explanation. Well, it's time to start dating with class, fellow Sugarbabies.
I read too many dating sites that talk about how men go into their caves and it is somehow the woman's fault. Unless you're a creepy stalker, I'd like to propose something completely different.
We women ANALYSE everything. You know what I mean....! When the dude disappears, even for a few hours, we go into investigation-mode, and when the no-reply becomes 2-3 days, we start doomsday-ing. We see the worst in ourselves. We anazlyse every single thing we did on the date, and find only our own faults. We criticize ourselves. We attack ourselves. We blame ourselves.
Because letting a man in makes us vulnerable.
(Don't go changing that by the way)
What you need to start seeing is twofold:
1) You, my fellow sugarbaby- darling, you are beautiful and fun and caring and lovely
2) He's not here anymore
IF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND FUN AND CARING AND LOVELY,
and he's not here anymore...
IT'S HIS LOSS.
Why did he leave?
=who. the. f*ck. cares=
The point is, he's not here.
...yes, I know you had feelings, and you had plans for your future with him. maybe you bought a gift for him and now you can never give it to him... perhaps you took time off to work spend it with him... or something more?
It sucks. I wouldn't deny you those feelings.
But honey, feel those feelings. Feel your frustration, sadness, anger, disappointment, abandoned-ness.
Be constructive about it tho. Hit a pillow. Watch a chick flick. Talk to your therapist. See your friends.
And remember, you are beautiful.
.....there is a vague small chance Daddy was honestly detained for 3 days and could not contact you, but admittedly unless he was in prison... or in the bush--- he has reception, access to a phone, and sending text takes no time at all, he surely takes breaks for lunch and to visit the bathroom, so that man has time for important stuff, and well, even if his mobile phone lost battery, he could go to an internet cafe, a public payphone, or any myriad of other options, and he could get in touch. SO. He's actually CHOOSING to not get in touch... and you're not his lapdog.
A male friend of mine said "With men, you have to give 'em ONE CHANCE ONLY, and if they blow it, that's it- over"
So if he doesn't get back to you in 3 days and no contact (when you've reached out), it's over. F*ck him off. He doesn't deserve you. ONE CHANCE, ladies. ONE CHANCE.
BUT WHY DID HE GO?
okay here some options other than the most likely (he is not that into you)-
1) you're a psychotic creepy stalker chick (hey, maybe you are... but then again, you'll be on anti-psychosis meds and in a ward i expect, so i highly doubt any of you sugarbabies truly are psycho. stop saying you are!)
2) he has family stuff - death the family, sickness, etc... and he's grieving. If he is grieving and doesn't get in touch, he will at some stage, but you're not his counsellor, so moving on with your life is a good idea here anyway...
3) he is stressed at work - men are kinda dumb in that way, because when they get stressed -most- retreat into their "man cave" and don't talk to you. well, when/ if he comes back, let him do it with his tail between his legs, because not sharing his challenges with you means he doesn't see you as his confidant!
4) he is *confused* - if he is not sure about you, he's not the man for you
5) he is playing the field - i.e. dickhead, not the man for you
Ok, so now that's cleared up....!
If Daddy disappears, without word or reason, let him go.
I have been told by *some* Daddy's that it is the sugarbaby that needs to pursue the SD post-date... but you know I think follow up is the man's job. Yes, i show interest. I follow up. But *sad face* If a SD doesn't like me, better they say it as soon as possible than wait. I'm a big girl- i can handle it.... but those few days after the first date- i think they are crucial for making the relationship something good. I don't appreciate being left with no contact or sparse messages when i write. Yeh, neediness is not becoming but avoiding your sugarbaby is worse :/
What is a blog?
A blog is short for "web log". According to Webopedia, a blog is a Web page that serves as a publicly accessible personal journal for an individual. Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author. A blog allows you to keep an online journal you share with others. You can add, edit, or delete posts and comments.
So WTF is "up" with all these personals-ads posts?!
There is a FORUM for that chicas!!
Let us artistic and eclectic sugar babes (@alternative_chic) post our mood without your pathetic "where's my daddy to buy me a car?"-posts mucking up the whole blogging vibe, ya?!
How we convey ourselves in text is essentially our only chance for authenticity on this site. Anyone can get a modelling shoot, or sugarbabies in pushup bras, sugardaddies with their favorite car... Good looks fade. Words live forever.
I keep spotting new sugar babies appearing as *Male* yep, they've clicked the wrong button. Obviously the format is weird on this site. Not user-friendly at all. We need a designer not just a coder!! I have 2 degrees and i found the ideal partner section confusing.... I guess you did too?
Ok, so check your profile. (Top tool bar, profile, edit profile)
The LEFT column is you.
The right column is your ideal match.
The LEFT drop down menu is you.
The right 'select the boxes' is your ideal match .
Make sure you have selected sugar baby as you. Also check down the columns to make sure you have 'petit' (or whatever your body type is) as correct for YOU.
Yes, the site clearly needs some work ...but if you're serious about finding a mate here, probably worth checking your stats.
Contrary to popular belief, I actually know a thing or two about BDSM relationships.... and I wanted to write a bit for the benefit of sugarbabies seeking these kind of arrangements as a desired connection.
Having a Master or Mistress, being a slave or submissive both have their plus-points. And yes, I am experienced on both sides of this proverbial coin, so I am able to make the following judgements with poignancy-
MOST MEN WHO CLAIM TO BE *MASTERS* ARE SIMPLY ARSEHOLES
MOST WOMEN WHO CLAIM TO BE *MISTRESSES* HATE MEN
Being a Master/ Mistress is a big task. It's more than controlling sexual pleasure, tying someone up or being a dominate person. It is about caring for your submissive, and empowering them to be the best that they can be.
*Noted: Many arseholes understand this premise, so they tell a submissive "I'm doing this for you", but in fact they are manipulative and generally not very nice people playing the BDSM-card in order to control submissives and get sexual pleasure on demand.
I HATE 50 SHADES OF GREY
For two reasons.
1) Terrible writing, and it was published??
2) Introduces BDSM myths about the M/s relationship
SUGAR DADDY MASTERS FOR SUGAR BABY SUBMISSIVES
So, you're seeking a sugar daddy Master?
Finding a Master that is not abusive, has your best interests at heart, and cares about you-
Well, that's pretty challenging anyway. And now you want one who is also a SD?
- Ask the potential SD what experience they have as a Master? And who taught them?
- Can you speak to a former or present slave for feedback?
- Don't assume they are good Masters if they are controlling, suggestive or lewd. In fact, immediate desires to control should be a red flag
- It is as much about your level of comfort as it is about theirs with you. Do you feel safe? Do you feel supported?
- Do you honestly believe they would stop if you said "red" or used your safe word?
- Do you feel your Master supports your life decisions?
- Does your Master bring you *towards* others, or push you away from them? (if Master is suggesting your family or friends are not suitable for you, that's not care - that's abuse)
- CONSENSUAL CONSENSUAL CONSENSUAL. Really! At no time is a Master/ Mistress allowed to make you do something without your consent. I don't care what the Master says to you to 'make it right'... it's not right.
- Just because you are a submissive doesn't mean you have no voice.
- Think about the kind of BDSM relationship you're seeking. 24/7 M/s or just bedroom oriented? If it's the latter, are there times you would like equality? How can you make that clear before you become sexual?
- Oh yeh, and AT NO TIME should a submissive give her Master her hard-earned money. That money you made? It is yours. It truly is. A good Master will love it that you want to take care of yourself, earn money and have wishes. He will support you in that. Now, he might suggest good investments, term deposits or financial advisors... but he will never 'take your money for safe keeping'. No way. You are a capable submissive! No one touches your cash - got it?!