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BDSM and Sugar Babies

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Contrary to popular belief, I actually know a thing or two about BDSM relationships.... and I wanted to write a bit for the benefit of sugarbabies seeking these kind of arrangements as a desired connection.


Having a Master or Mistress, being a slave or submissive both have their plus-points. And yes, I am experienced on both sides of this proverbial coin, so I am able to make the following judgements with poignancy-








Being a Master/ Mistress is a big task. It's more than controlling sexual pleasure, tying someone up or being a dominate person. It is about caring for your submissive, and empowering them to be the best that they can be. 


*Noted: Many arseholes understand this premise, so they tell a submissive "I'm doing this for you", but in fact they are manipulative and generally not very nice people playing the BDSM-card in order to control submissives and get sexual pleasure on demand. 



For two reasons.

1) Terrible writing, and it was published??

2) Introduces BDSM myths about the M/s relationship



So, you're seeking a sugar daddy Master?

Good luck.

Finding a Master that is not abusive, has your best interests at heart, and cares about you- 

Well, that's pretty challenging anyway. And now you want one who is also a SD?



- Ask the potential SD what experience they have as a Master? And who taught them?

- Can you speak to a former or present slave for feedback?

- Don't assume they are good Masters if they are controlling, suggestive or lewd. In fact, immediate desires to control should be a red flag

- It is as much about your level of comfort as it is about theirs with you. Do you feel safe? Do you feel supported?

- Do you honestly believe they would stop if you said "red" or used your safe word?

- Do you feel your Master supports your life decisions?

- Does your Master bring you *towards* others, or push you away from them? (if Master is suggesting your family or friends are not suitable for you, that's not care - that's abuse)

- CONSENSUAL CONSENSUAL CONSENSUAL. Really! At no time is a Master/ Mistress allowed to make you do something without your consent. I don't care what the Master says to you to 'make it right'... it's not right.

- Just because you are a submissive doesn't mean you have no voice. 

- Think about the kind of BDSM relationship you're seeking. 24/7 M/s or just bedroom oriented? If it's the latter, are there times you would like equality? How can you make that clear before you become sexual?

- Oh yeh, and AT NO TIME should a submissive give her Master her hard-earned money. That money you made? It is yours. It truly is. A good Master will love it that you want to take care of yourself, earn money and have wishes. He will support you in that. Now, he might suggest good investments, term deposits or financial advisors... but he will never 'take your money for safe keeping'. No way. You are a capable submissive! No one touches your cash - got it?!






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View author's info
1 year ago

This is the wrong website to find a BDSM SD... try another more suited one.

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View author's info
1 year ago

In your opinion I guess not haha


It is your blog after all...

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Having a dominant personality does not mean you can be a good Master. To suggest that shows me you in fact misunderstand the whole premise of BDSM....


Pointers for Daddy Doms seeking sugar babes? Naa, good Masters don't need help. And arseholes need to be avoided.


If a Master is genuine,  they will share those details with their potential sub.


Omg ShyGuy, you really have no clue, do you?


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View author's info
1 year ago

It seems that I challenge your opinion in many cases now haha


Its not my intention to do that but your experiences and mine on this site seem to be completely different...


I do agree with many of your points you said - though they again are one sided. You say you hve experienced life as both a master and submissive but only give advice to the girls who wish to be a "submissive". What about the dominants seeking the righ submissive?


You also mention the sugar babies should ask who trained the dominant. Being a dominant is not something you can be trained to do - its your personality... its ingrained into your soul. Yes, there are aspects of it that you need to understand but you made it sound - in my opinion - that you want to know who was their coach. Perhaps I am wrong in that opinion


For me though, it was a girl - a submissive girl - who made me understand that aspect of my personality


I agree that the girls need to be safe - so do the guys though


One point I will question. You suggested that the sugar baby should ask can they talk to a former submissive. Really? You read the profiles of many of the girls on this site. They ask for discretion. So I have to give them discretion but allow them access to previous people I have been with?


And that's fair? :)

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View author's info
1 year ago

Well written, hopefully this information helps keep some poor young lasses out of abusive relationships.

Regards, Ben.