FRIENDLY SUGAR JOKES

81xxxxxx

Peru, IL, USA

So we're out at a salad buffet type restaurant with self server ice-cream. My father, being quite the large human, makes himself a monstrosity of an ice-cream. This thing is like 6-8 inches tall and sitting on a baby sugar cone. He proceeds to eat the phalic dessert with much enthusiasm and I ask him, "Dad are you enjoying that?" He stops mid lick "Not half as much as this icecream is"

Chxxxxxx

Melbourne, VIC, AUS

George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” George was stunned. “If you call that bad, I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible...

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SPxxxxxx

Alicante, ESP

A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young woman is not a "Sugar Daddy" buuuut He is an artifical sweetener.

Jexxxxxx

Leipzig, SN, DEU

Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

roxxxxxx

Port Hedland, WA, AUS

A blind snake and a blind rabbit walk into each other on the road one day. Snake touches the rabbit and goes; “huh! You’re soft, have a round tail, buck teeth and floppy ears… you must be a rabbit!” Rabbit touches the snake and goes; “ew! You’re slimy and scaly, you have a fork tongue, sharp teeth and you slither along the ground… you must be a politician!”

mixxxxxx

Hyderabad, TG, IND

A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "Sugar Daddy". He's an artificial sweetner.

daxxxxxx

Munchen, BY, DEU

Was ist weiß und stört beim essen? Eine Lawine. XD

pixxxxxx

Delhi, DL, IND

Life’s too short to be serious all the time Here’s one I like: “Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.” Simple jokes like this always make my day a little better.

dexxxxxx

Edmonton, AB, CAN

How much does a polar bear weigh??? Enough to break the ice ;p

dexxxxxx

Sikar, RJ, IND

Why don't sugar cubes get lost? Because they always stick together!

grxxxxxx

Athens, Attica, GRC

As a fifty year old man I decided I want a gorgeous woman to share my wealth. Eager to impress, I head to the gym the next day to get in shape. Approaching a young female trainer, I ask her "Which machine here will make me most attractive to someone like you?" She smirks and replies, "The ATM outside." !!!

Hoxxxxxx

Sydney, NSW, AUS

Why did the coffee break up with sugar? Because it felt the relationship was getting too sweet to handle!

maxxxxxx

Sicklerville, NJ, USA

Doctor said my sugar was too high. Got home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Nixxxxxx

Hyderabad, TG, IND

What does Charlie Bucket call Willy Wonka? His Sugar Daddy.

Daxxxxxx

O'Fallon, MO, USA

What did the Banana say to the Vibrator? Why you all shookin up? She isn't gonna eat you! Hehehe

luxxxxxx

Maysville, KY, USA

This is my fav KY joke. Why did the chicken cross the road? To shoe the possum it could be done... Thought about putting on my gravestone...

kqxxxxxx

Peabody, MA, USA

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.

loxxxxxx

Hyderabad, TG, IND

A man just sold his company and wants a gorgeous woman to share his wealth. He goes to the gym and asks a trainer, "Which machine here will make me most attractive to a young woman?" She replies, "The ATM outside."

Anxxxxxx

Taguig, Metro Manila, PHL

Why did the sugar rush to the party? Because it heard it was going to be a sugar high time!

SIxxxxxx

Sydney, NSW, AUS

I like my coffee like I like my humor - dark, strong, and slightly inappropriate. I told my plants a joke… now they’re rooted in laughter. I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.